jewelry || drawing || the dance

i know i said monday for the blog, and i don't think i dashed any hopes holding out, but i was compelled to sketch yesterday and to see it through to, well, what i consider completion.  london.  great britain.  world ♥ ♥ ♥

so here it is, a day behind.

i'm still trying to find a synchronicity in both drawing and making jewelry regularly... and without sparing quality to either.  i know it has to be something that can be done it's just that i'm still managing to fail at it... fabulously.

so on weekends that i'm pumped i lay out this plan for myself to follow throughout the week:  jewelry in the day and art (provided i want to art) in the evening.  jewelry is my income i have to put it first.  where i would love for the art to be as much... i'm still getting there? (hopefully?)... so art takes the backseat even though i know i still have to make time for it.

so what actually ends up happening is i begin doubting my jewelry because it has not progressed in the past few years the way i have watched "what used to be" my contemporaries' work absolutely flourish, but i'm not gonna get hung up on that right now so much as say i doubt myself.  i'll let their success be what makes me want to succeed where i've been stagnate the past few years.  however, know i can't let only small progression in my artwork dampen my progress in jewelry either, and i do feel investing myself in my artwork does take away from the jewelry.

when i begin doubting myself with my jewelry i tell myself i need to do something with this time where i'm finding myself making a mess or, worse, just blankly staring at jewelry-making material.  so i walk over to my drafting table and forget my jewelry woes and draw and draw and draw and then ask myself "what the hell did i just draw?" because 20 times out of 10 it's just ideas that i can't present as a finished piece... and then it's time to go to bed and i've just wasted another day on scribbling out ideas and scrawl that makes no sense to anyone but me.

i do distract easily and know letting go of the drawing would allow me loads of discipline and dedication to the jewelry i do not currently give it.  i'm not sure why the idea of letting go of the art seems impossible to me right now.  i hadn't needed it for years until these past few.

i think the last time i gave up on my artwork it may have been in a critical stage of defining itself and defining me and instead i gave those years to jewelry... where i wasn't really adept to making jewelry (and could have done better with art), but still good enough in it to gain some attention.  and now i'm racing to catch up with the time i lost for art and, likewise, desperately trying to maintain the jewelry.  that's exactly what all of this is desperate and exhausting, and i keep questioning it and am afraid of the reality.

so let's just continue to hypothesize and suspend our disbelief just a little longer, and hope the two can be equally achieved in equal amounts of success.

  • draw out your jewelry ideas / design them
  • when you make art, reference your jewelry pieces in the art

so that's what i've been trying to do.  if i combine the two can they be sources of inspiration for one another? can time be allocated to each adequately? the answer should be yes, but can it be something original? can it be defining? i don't know... i don't know if i even know what i mean by that, but i want to try.  and this past week i've been wire wrapping a bit...

... among a few filigree pieces i need to complete.

i'm really excited about the harness.  still uncertain about the color of stones i'm using.  i really like the purple shown above, but have some black that are a better cut/shape.

last on the agenda, is artwork that sourced one of my cuffs as it's reference; the nepttuun cuff.  

well, this is what i've been up to.  admitting i'm bad at being productive. i'm trying to get back at it, trying to believe in myself... i'm even reading a self-handmade-business-help book that greatly inspired me at the birth of harlequin romantique. 

i would very much love to get back to those feelings of inspiration and pride in my work.  i would also like to start running again regularly, and have found a place to do that.  maybe i should be excited about life right now:)



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